Fellow students! I bring good news!

A motion was passed at this year's Annual Student Meeting that will have a profound effect on all our lives.

Animal Education student Jimmy Greaves proposed the motion that all Kingston University Student Union Bars should serve free alcohol between the hours of 1 am and 11pm on days that end in y.

An impassioned speech by the KUSU’s accountant (Mr G. Beancounter) did nothing to change the fact that the student body was behind the motion, a vote was cast, hands counted and the motion passed: 98 for and 1 against.

Just as we were all getting ready to skip the debate on sports facilities and head down the bar the chair person asked for order.

We frooze, half standing, thirst gathering when we heard the fateful words.

“For a motion to be passed there must be at least 100 people here.”

Amid the calls for a recount the facts slowly sunk in.

No free beer.

Not such good news after all.

Where were you when we needed you!

n.b. this isn’t true by the way, but I hope you’ve learned your lesson: take part in student politics.