How many times have you walked in on a guy sat on the sofa looking like a zombie with glazed over eyes and a dopey expression on his face? Don’t worry, he’s not dead. He's just concentrating on the most important thing in his life: FIFA. By Anshu Pandit

Why play FIFA 12 when you could kick a real ball around?

By Anshu Pandit How many times have you walked in on a guy sat on the sofa looking like a zombie with glazed over eyes and a dopey expression on his face? Don’t worry, he’s not dead. He’s just concentrating on the most important thing in his life: FIFA. Football fans across the world are already obsessive, but is a video game taking it a step too far? FIFA has taken over the lives of many football fanatics, turning them into unresponsive human beings incapable of doing anything else but play a mindless video game. This condition isn’t going to get any better with the release of FIFA 12 last Friday. The new edition has even The River’s own reporters on edge as they count down the hours until they can get ahold of it. I cannot count the number of times I have seen the guys in my house sat in front of that game for hours and haven’t spoken to each other. I ask them ‘did you get any loo roll?’ and they don’t respond. I try ‘the hob is on fire’ and I get nothing. The only sound they make is the occasional yelling of joy or anger at their team, which is so ear shattering you’d think that someone had won the lottery. My only comfort is that they haven’t managed to get a hold of an Xbox this year. I don’t see the point of playing a virtual football match when you can go outside and play a real one – maybe if the weather is bad or if you have a busted ankle, but surely an all-day session is a bit excessive. The next time you FIFA fanatics want to spend an eight hour session on your arses go outside and actually kick the ball around instead. And on your way out, get some loo roll.

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3 comments

  1. Seems like the answer to the underlying question in this piece is the illusion of professionalism.

    Why would I go out to play a real game when I can control professional players on the pro teams I already know and love?

    The emotional gratification is the same, it’s just less of a hassle since I don’t have to leave the house.

  2. This made me laugh. Fifa is awesome, and is a male bonding thing. Girls go shopping, boys play video games (appallingly stereotypical I know, but you get the idea).

  3. Terrible article that lacks a sense of direction. Are you trying to say you hate video games or you hate Fifa or you hate both?
    Regardless of whatever the video game is; video games aren’t the same task repeatedly. Those that are blow. Games are an abstract challenge that the brain enjoys.
    Yes they’re made for amusement, fun and even in some ways for socialisating but they stimulate your mind either way, so it’s not all so ‘mindless’.
    I am quite sure you probably haven’t even played a game of Fifa to be writing said comments.
    You have even uploaded a picture of the U.S Fifa cover?

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