When I chose to attend Kingston University, I was thrilled by its reputation for diversity. As a mixed-race woman who wears her hair naturally in an afro, I felt confident that this environment would embrace and respect my cultural identity. And in many respects, my expectations were met during the day.
However, after living in Kingston for three years, I quickly discovered a different reality: while the university is diverse, the town is not. I presume it is because many people of colour commute to the university and do not reside locally.
My hair has always been a significant part of my identity, symbolising both my heritage and my individual style.
Yet, it often became the focal point of unwanted attention when I went out in Kingston. Strangers, emboldened by alcohol and a lack of common sense, would frequently touch or grab my hair without my consent. At times, they would ask, but only after they had already invaded my personal space. This persistent invasion left me feeling disrespected and uncomfortable.
It is troubling that in a town celebrated for its university’s diversity, the nightlife fails to reflect this value. Despite Kingston University’s efforts to cultivate an inclusive daytime environment, it’s disheartening that the same respect isn’t extended into its social scenes at night. The lack of cultural sensitivity and awareness transforms a place of potential vibrant cultural exchange into an uncomfortable and, at times, exclusionary space.
In search of a more welcoming atmosphere, I found solace in the communities in central London, where I could fully embrace my identity and feel comfortable, accepted, and celebrated. In that environment, I face less of the intrusive curiosity and more of the genuine respect that should be the standard everywhere. This community has been a vital source of support and empowerment for me, highlighting the profound importance of finding and connecting with your own community.
This situation raises important questions about what true diversity means and how it should be fostered. It isn’t enough to just have a diverse population; inclusivity must be actively promoted and protected in all areas of our community life, including nightlife.
My story is not unique, and it should serve as a call to action for Kingston upon Thames and other similar towns. We should strive to create an atmosphere where everyone feels welcome and respected, no matter the hour or venue. Practising basic decency and respecting personal boundaries is essential for a truly inclusive community. Most importantly, individuals should be encouraged to seek out and build connections within communities that understand and respect their unique identities.
Dharmi Dave