South Asian women living and studying in London often grapple with a complex cultural identity crisis, torn between the heritage of their families and the culture they encounter in the UK.
This duality often leaves them questioning where they truly belong, as societal expectations, familial pressures, and personal aspirations clash.
“I feel like I live in two different worlds,” said Priya Mehta, a 24-year-old university student.
“At home, I’m expected to behave a certain way—wear modest clothing, speak my native language, and follow cultural traditions. But outside, I feel pressured to fit into the British lifestyle, whether that’s the way I speak, socialise, or even date. It’s exhausting trying to balance both. I don’t feel Indian enough, I don’t feel British enough, what am I?”
For many, the struggle begins at home. Families may expect daughters to uphold traditional values, often tied to religion, language, or cultural practices. This might include adhering to specific dress codes, pursuing education or careers that are deemed suitable, or preparing for marriage.
However, in London’s multicultural environment, these women are also exposed to a vastly different way of life, where individuality, freedom of choice, and self-expression are highly valued.
This balancing act is complicated further by societal perceptions. In predominantly British circles, some women report being treated as “too foreign,” while within their own communities, they may feel judged for adopting “Western” habits or beliefs.
“For my South Asian friends, I’m not ‘Indian enough’ because I choose to live independently or don’t cook traditional food. For my British friends, I’m not ‘British enough’ because I have no interest in pub culture or don’t get certain UK references,” said Amara Bedi, a 20-year-old student.
Despite this, some women, like Devanshi Savla, manage to embrace their cultural heritage in positive ways. “I’ve learned to embrace being Indian,” she said. “Even the fact that I’m Gujarati and carry thepla (Indian flatbread) everywhere for survival is something I’ve grown up with. I’ve made friends in my community and had great cross-cultural interactions. It’s been pretty nice.”
However, balancing academic life with cultural expectations is a challenge for many.
“Cultural expectations from my family have definitely influenced my experience,” said Riddhi Shah. “There’s a lot of pressure to succeed academically and maintain traditional values. It’s motivating but also overwhelming, especially in social settings where things like not drinking or dressing differently can make you feel out of place. Setting boundaries and finding supportive friends who respect my background has really helped.”
Racial microaggressions also play a significant role in shaping students’ experiences. Neeraja Narendran, a psychology student, described how racism impacts her ability to fully integrate into university life, adding another layer of complexity to her cultural identity.
“There’s a lot of racism here which makes it harder,” she said. “You have to constantly be aware of your safety, especially during things like riots, and that can make you feel even more out of place. It’s hard to integrate into university life when there’s such a different culture.”
Despite these challenges, Neeraja finds solace in friendships with others who share similar backgrounds. “Finding people from similar backgrounds really helps, as it makes you feel more at home.”
For many South Asian women in London, the journey to self-acceptance is ongoing. “I’ve realised I don’t have to pick one side over the other,” said Anjali Singh, a 27-year-old professional.
“I’m learning to embrace both parts of myself, even if it’s messy. It’s okay not to have all the answers.”
While the question of “What am I?” may not have a simple answer, the growing conversation around this issue offers hope for a future where cultural duality is celebrated rather than criticised.
Megan Kelly