Tue. Apr 23rd, 2024

I found out my Nan died through Facebook

By Sunniva Kolostyak Nov 7, 2017
Finding out over social media rather than face-to-face can be preferable Photo: REX

It’s always tough when someone you love dies. Getting the news, being sat down, having a good cry over the loss, it’s all very heart breaking. My grandmother recently passed away, a week after being diagnosed with cancer. But before I got the news face to face, my uncle posted it on Facebook. And I can’t thank him enough for that.

First of all, learning that on Facebook is like ripping off a plaster, it’s quick and painful. ‘Mum has now found peace’, my uncle wrote. ‘Haha, what?!’ I thought.

When you’re about to get upsetting news you normally realise where the conversation is headed, whether you like it or not. But on Facebook there’s no hand holding or calm voices. Instead, the news is a right cross hitting you right in the heart rate. According to my smart watch, my pulse made a jump from 77 to 110 that minute, the ideal heart rate for fat loss.

It also saves a lot of time. People these days have busy schedules, and fitting in a 15-minute conversation about grandma right after lunch is stressful. Not to mention the amount of time you’re going to spend on funeral arrangements. With things to do, it’s better to get it over and done with.

A Facebook post is visible to all your friends instantly, another solid bonus to posting this sensitive information. The only reason my uncle’s post popped up in my feed was because one of my colleagues had offered his sincerest condolences in the comment section. This, of course, saved time and saved me the trouble of explaining my gloom to everyone around me. I didn’t even have to write my own post and my uncle got over 500 comments for the first time.

However, the main argument is of course that you don’t have to worry about your reaction or how your reaction is being perceived. You can ugly cry as much as you need because you don’t have to compose yourself. It’s like the self-service tills in any grocery shop, you really don’t have to worry about eye contact or being judged.
Unluckily for me I was laying out pages for this very paper with my colleague when I read it, and thereby ended up dealing with human interaction and awkward hugs anyway.

All in all, this is why I think that getting bad news through Facebook is preferable to face to face. And you get a shit ton of condolences.

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