In every introvert’s life, there is a list of situations that we absolutely dread, with one of them being going out and talking to people (you can imagine how “exciting” first year fresher’s week is for us). Most of the time my readiness to socialise is determined by my mood, hours of sleep and how much I’ve socialised in the past 24-48 hours. In any case, going out and meeting new people is hard, which is why whenever I have an event, I bring a plus one – someone I can trust to divert the attention away from me and do all the talking if necessary. This was exactly my plan for an Eden Gallery event I had been invited to: get dressed up, maybe have a glass of “go go juice” to set the mood and most importantly – hide behind my friend, who, unlike me, is very sociable.
Unfortunately, the universe had other plans for me – said friend (my shield) got ill and suddenly there I was, torn between the decision to go to this event alone or stay at home altogether. *Spoiler* I went alone. A nightmare for an introvert, but I thought – why not step out of my comfort zone and force myself to speak to total strangers? But hey, you don’t get to eat dinner with 30 other people and sit next to celebrity artists every day. So, it’s worth the risk…right?
Anyway, I put my game face on and strode down to Bond Street. And believe it or not, I had an amazing time, met so many new, interesting people and even got their contact details. It was overwhelming but it totally paid off in the end.
I would like to encourage our readers to put themselves out there and take that chance, even if you think it is the worst decision in the world. I know it is hard in the moment, but trust me, at the end of the day it is so worth it. Here is how I deal with social anxiety as an introvert.
- Have a friend online for moral support. I always feel more comfortable when I know that my friend is online waiting for my videos from an event – it gives me something to think about and an agenda to pursue. Small things like these keep your mind occupied even if only for a little amount of time.
- Don’t rush. Keep your head up high and back straight. It may be a cliché, but “fake it ‘til you make it” works when it comes to confidence. Take time to look around the room, enjoy the atmosphere, do some people watching.
- Nothing is as serious as you think it is, so have fun. Don’t feel pressured to do things the right way, because there is no right way.
- Have an alter ego for all your social affairs. Don’t be a completely different version of yourself but merely an enhanced one that, for example, enjoys meeting new people and has no problem doing it. Beyonce’s Sasha Fierce comes to mind.
- Breathe. Just breathe. Remember that everyone is too worried about their own looks to think about you or notice that you’ve come alone.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is scary but can also be fun. You get the chance to explore different sides of yourself that you never knew about. This goes for everyday uni life as well. Nowadays teachers are understanding and help you out when you don’t want to speak up in class or have trouble working in a group but imagine how much more vibrant uni life would be with that little bit of extra confidence. You have the chance to “try on” many different facades and decide what you like best. Get creative with it and incorporate these tricks into your day to day.