A crossfitter, a vegan and an atheist all walk into a bar. How do you know which one is which? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
No one really seems to like vegans. It must be a tough existence, living off carrot sticks and tofu and pretending to like the sacrilege that is cheese-less pizza.
Maybe it’s because they seem to be everywhere these days. From Ariana Grande to Ellen DeGeneres, you can’t escape them. They’re like one of the apocalypse plagues: frogs, fiery hails, vegans.
I don’t have anything against the vegan diet itself but I have a theory that depriving oneself of dairy meat and all things delicious makes people act aggressively. Like mad cow disease but in reverse.
We all know what we think when we hear someone say: “I’m vegan” (other than: I didn’t ask, why are you telling me?). We assume that the person is a pushy, self-righteous, lecturing, soap-boxing, holier-than-thou activist.
Vegetarianism is simply a diet; veganism is a lifestyle, a religion. But, unlike organised religion, vegans don’t stick together, they tear each other down in the hopes of winning the title of Ultimate Vegan.
There is so much hate surrounding veganism, anyone who isn’t vegan is automatically a murderer and evil. It seems unacceptable to them that someone might choose to live their life differently. I choose to live my life the tasty way: cow’s milk in my coffee, cheese in my toastie and lots and lots of bacon.
So much propaganda is spouted about how our ancestors didn’t eat animal products so why should we?
Our ancestors used to do a lot of things such as die at about thirty years old, apply poisonous lead for makeup and use leaves as toilet paper. So maybe we shouldn’t take too many tips from our forbearers. (Although now I think about it I’m sure vegans would love some organic leaf toilet tissue).
“We’re the only species that drink the milk of another animal; don’t you think that’s awful?” A vegan may ask me. Not really, I’d reply, we’re also the only species to have sophisticated technology, healthcare and Wi-Fi, I’m not about to give up my iPhone because a cow doesn’t have one.
I am automatically opposed to anyone who tries to shove their beliefs down my throat, be it political, social, theological or dietary. I have been told on multiple occasions to “just try it”. Vegan peer pressure is real: just say no to dairy-free alternatives.
To conclude: vegan cheese is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. Please stop.
Tyler Law
Tahlia Marie Melado
Megan Kelly
I find it appalling your views on Veganism. Perhaps if you actually read a book and did some research in to the reasons why people do it you might actually share a few of our opinions. Generalizing us as a ‘religion’ and that we are in competition with each other to be ‘ultimate vegan’ is laughable.
Let me take you back not more than 7 months ago when i made the change to Veganism. Before then i was a chronic meat eater, and i like you, loved meat animal products and so on, i didn’t spare a thought for it. But then i saw some things i wish i never had to, they made me question how humans use animals and treat them as slaves in the most brutal and horrific way. And believe me it is truly brutal. you would know if you did some research yourself, which you clearly haven’t. You have merely become sick of hearing about something you know nothing about and have judged it no end. Turning Vegan is probably the kindest thing you can do to this earth.
I don’t class myself as the small percent of Vegans you seem to slate, and believe me i know there are some nasty ones out there. I am a vegan for my own reasons, for health, for the earth, for the poor innocent animals that suffer every day to feed our undying lust for animal flesh and products.
I would happily sit down with you and educate you on the subject. if you are willing to actually listen to truths. And not just your own selfish bull you have somehow managed to worm into a local paper. its disgusting and offensive and i will be reporting you.
Here’s the first one i suggest you watch (EARTHLINGS)…. if you have the stomach. and if you do feel the same after you are truly lacking a heart….. i would go as far as saying you class yourself as an animal lover or have a pet you love. Eat them if you love meat so much. Drink cats milk if you like it so much.
Then try (COWSPIRACY) to see the effect animal agriculture has on the earth.
And (FORKS OVER KNIFES) to see the effect is has on the human health.
I don’t mean to come across aggressive but the article you have written has offended me and probably any other Vegan unlucky enough to have read it. You have attacked good people verbally. I won’t stand for it.
Regards,
George Streak.