Is dating doomed?

Dating is undoubtedly difficult, but as humans, it is natural for us to fantasise about meeting our soul mates and establishing an unbreakable bond.

For years, the notion of finding our other half during our time at university has loomed over us. 

Romance movies create unrealistic portrayals of what relationships are like for young adults.

Perhaps there was a time when love was as simple, but it is evident that many of us have passed this period.

“People have too many options. Everyone has an idea of what they want basing on their role models rather than what they genuinely want internally,” said civil engineering student Minnie Moyo. 

It is without doubt that very few have completed their quest to find solid bonds.

Most of us are still waiting anxiously to find our person and are wondering if hook-up culture has a part to play in this difficulty to finding genuine love.

A couple cuddling on a bed
Credit: Becca Tapert/Unsplash

Although hook-up culture has been around for decades, our generation has become more susceptible to the engagement of casual sex often solely focused on hooking up.

So much so that the urge for deeper connections and emotional intimacy has become dispensable.

Along with this, the effort surrounding courtship has become void with traditional dating methods such as going for dinner, making plans and meeting parents no longer being prioritised.

Stereotypes and generalisations have also played a huge part in the death of the dating scene.

With those of us who value tradition being ridiculed and tagged with words such as “desperate” and “overly emotional”.

“It’s definitely become harder to date but I think it’s about your stage in life. It takes time and the right circumstances to be able to date someone seriously,” said Miracle Olu, Marketing and Advertising Student

In addition to this, we are also slowly losing respect for our partners and becoming more selfish, with many of us wanting to ‘have our cake and eat it too’.

Although putting yourself first is highly encouraged, to sustain a healthy and balanced relationship it is important to understand that selflessness is valid.

Our generation also fears communication, which is an important ingredient for any form of relationship and, without this, ultimately leaves many of us confused by mixed signals.

Although understandably discussing the aim of your intentions can feel daunting it is the only way to ensure that both partners are on the same page.

Biomedical science student Rhoda Anevho said: “I believe our generation does not focus on the real importance of a relationship.” 

A happy couple in a garden
Credit: Matheus Ferrero/ Unsplash

We also shy away from commitment and consistency because we are afraid to display our feelings and to allow ourselves to genuinely love someone.

We constantly find ourselves falling under the dynamic of wanting to be chased and waiting for the other person to make the first move.

Many of us feel that this action somehow lets us obtain power. The issue with this is that despite feeling powerful neither of us truly benefit instead were left feeling alone.

“I don’t believe that in this generation you can actually form meaningful, trusting relationships.

Different cultures which have come from the internet mainly have encouraged things like being toxic and cheating as if it’s normal.

Society is progressing in a way which will make dating difficult and if I’m honest I think we are losing our traditional values around love,” said Kyle Parmar, a Psychology & Criminology student.

If we fail to fix our mistakes and continue to allow ourselves to fall into the same patterns, dating is certain to be doomed.

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I am specifically interested in working within magazine journalism focusing on the music, culture and fashion sectors. In addition to this, I have always had a passion for keeping up to date on the latest fashion trends and music artists.

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